Tuesday, March 01, 2011

Up, Down & Forwards

I listened to a lot of Hoobastank today (particularly this song and this song) which cheered me up after a rather "confrontational" few hours (Note To Self - Living with parents after the age of 18 is not, I repeat, *not* a good idea) I danced around in the kitchen while I did a few chores, cleared my head and felt my spirits lift so I could focus on more creative and all-round cheerful things.

I sketched out an idea for my boy's bookmark (I can't disclose details since he reads my blog - Hi! *love*) and planned out a few details for the bookmarks I'm making for my best friend, B.  So far, we've collaborated and he wants black and gold for one (with complementary sequins) and green with a flower motif for the other.  On reflection, both of these designs seem pretty girly.  What can I say, he's just awesome (and manly) enough to pull off sparkles and petals (^_^)

Indie Business got started today *yay!* It feels really awesome to be taking this course and being more actively involved in my future.  The topic today really got me thinking hard, not only about my potential business but also about myself.
For a long time, I held the firm belief that I'd go through life on my own; I'd never get married, never have children and I'd spend my days lecturing on Renaissance literature and swanning off around the globe whenever the fancy took me.  Carefree, selfish, independent.  I wasn't prepared to sacrifice my wants and goals for anyone - I didn't want to be tied down.  When I met S, he was the same.  Neither of us thought we'd find someone we could live out our lives with, someone we could really love.  We'd both been in relationships before but we'd never had *that* feeling.  And we didn't expect it to ever happen.  Slowly (extremely slowly in my case!) we came to realise that we made a really good team and discovered that we felt the same way about each other; we'd found the one person we wanted to be with forever.
This revelation sent the rest of my world into a spin; I was going to get married someday.  I might even have *children*.  For so long I'd had one idea, on goal and now everything was different.  I felt lost.  Happy, in love, but lost.
Today, I actually realised that I don't need to have only *one* idea or *one* goal.  I can have loads of goals, loads of ideas and loads of fun!  I can be a wife *and* a mother *and* a business owner *and* anything else I want to be.  And most importantly, I get to share the journey with the most amazing man I've ever known.  I guess it really pays to be a little less narrow-minded and to fully embrace things that are scary, new and potentially life-changing, exciting opportunities (^_^) Moving forwards is awesome!

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