Moving Is A Toughie!

Phew!  It's been a long couple of weeks since I left my job, it feels like so much has happened since then.  99% of my things are stowed away in boxes, ready to be sent whenever S has a day off (holy cow, those packages go fast!  From England to America in one day.  Impressed!) and since S is moving into our apartment on July 1st, it's only a matter of time before I'm booking my flight and heading over!

I've moved a couple of times before, like when I went up to London for university, and it's always the same; boxes and bundles, pulling out things you haven't seen for years but still have an irrational emotional attachment to, wrenching decisions regarding what to take, what to store and what to throw.  I'm lucky in the sense that it's only personal items I have to think about, clothes and books etc.  I don't have any huge pieces of furniture or even a whole house to move.  Just me and my little collection of things.  It still seems like such a huge task, essentially transporting my life in cardboard boxes from one side of the world to the other.

I sent my first box on Monday (full of crafting supplies, more as a test run than anything!) and was delighted to find it had been delivered, safe and sound, on Tuesday.  When I spoke to S and he confirmed that he'd picked it up, everything suddenly felt very real.  S and I have spent the last two years trying to figure out how we could be in the same place and it's all falling into place.  It's weird and doubly exciting and surreal to think that pretty soon, I'll be posting myself over to New Jersey to live with him.  It makes me do a happy dance every time I think about it!

The lack of posting and lack of pictures are mostly to do with the packing and moving and sorting (oh my!) and the fact I've been working on setting up a new little home on the internet!  I'm excited to reveal it all to you once I get settled in my new home (I'll let you know when I'm moving).  I feel like it's a good time to get a fresh start and to really focus on doing the things I love (since I don't have to work or anything straight away) and having a cute new blog will make everything official ^_^

I hope you guys are all doing well - I am keeping up to date with reading all your wonderful blogs and enjoying being on your journeys with you while I prepare for mine!  Thanks for stopping by and have a wonderful weekend.

xoxo

Goodbye // Hello

Last Thursday was my final day at work.  I've worked at a bakery for just over two years now and it has been the most labour-intensive, challenging job I've ever had.  I can't say that I've enjoyed it (in fact, more often than not I hated working there) but I feel like I've learned a lot and I've made some good friends that I hope to stay in touch with.

There were a lot of rules and regulations there and I am thrilled to finally be free from all the restrictions they imposed!  So here is a little goodbye to my bakery life and hello to the one waiting for me outside it ^_^

Goodbye Baseball Cap and Hairnet - You left me with hat hair and awkward dents so many times, although you were excellent for bad hair days too.

Goodbye Ugly Uniform - You never quite fit right and you were an unflattering shade of blue.  You got worn out so quickly but we were never allowed new items of you.

Goodbye Old Coffee Machine - You were horrible to clean.  Like, dangerously horrible.  You never worked properly, you gave short measures and you were slow as heck.  And your coffee was average at best.

Goodbye Sharp Things and Hot Things and Detrimental-to-my-Health Things - You burned me, cut me, fell on me, pinched me and generally disturbed my wellbeing for two years.  Please avoid doing the same to my brother.

//

Hello Nail Polish - I've missed you.  In fact, I put some of you on my nails on Thursday night, in celebration.  You're bright pink and I like it.

Hello Jewellery - Earrings, I can't wait to wear you every day.  Pretty necklaces, rings and even you, purple watch, will adorn me at every possible event.  And woo for never having to take you out, lip ring.  

Hello Sleep - I'm never getting up at 5 a.m. again.  Ever.

Hello Freedom - No more having to wait for schedules to be posted.  No more arranging then rearranging because my shifts fall on different days.  No more phone calls at 6 a.m. because someone called in sick and there is no-one else available.  No more being stuck inside on beautifully warm days.  No more working in a job I don't like ^_^

It's weird how much of a change leaving my job has made to me already.  Now that I'm not officially employed any more, I feel like things are moving forward much more quickly.  S has found us a lovely apartment (with outside space!!!) and he's working really hard in his sparkly new supervisory position.  I'm finalising things here and getting ready to book some tickets.  After all the time we've waited, it's falling into place and I am beyond excited ^_^ 

I hope you've had a great weekend and you've got an awesome week ahead.  What are you excited about?  Thanks for stopping by!

xoxo

Some News.

So, my little loves, I have a tiny bit of news to tell you about ^_^

As you know, S and I have had our ups and our downs when it's come to us being in the same place at the same time for longer than two weeks.  We've struggled with rejections, denials and having to say goodbye over and over again, and it's been really hard.  Well, all that's about to change.

I handed in my notice at work.

I'm packing up my things.

I'm moving.  To America!

-excited dance-

S has been offered a great job in a good part of town and we're hoping, providing all of our plans go smoothly (which never happens!), that I'll be in New Jersey at the beginning of June!  We are both beyond excited ^_^

Things might be a little quiet around here for a while but I'll pop in from time to time to update with how things are going.  I've got some plans for a whole new start when I reach my new home.  The future is looking amazing right now ^_^

I hope you're all having a great week and are looking forward to a wonderful weekend!  Thank you for stopping by!

xoxo

Time For A '10 Things' Update!

Since it's already May (how is it already May?!) I figured I would have a little look at my '10 Things' list and see if I'm faring better than I did last year.  To be fair though, it really couldn't be that hard because I totes sucked at my goals last year >.<

1. Read 12 books, one for every month - So far, I've actually cracked my way through 8 (yes, eight!) books.  I've rediscovered my love of reading and can't get enough of the wonderful written word.

2. Knit myself a sweater - Not started yet!

3. Try 12 new recipes - I feel like I'm on track with this one.  I've already tried four new things this year and I've got a whole list of recipes I'm keen to try.

4. Reach and maintain 140lbs - Ongoing (read - I haven't weighed myself in about five weeks and have eaten a lot of pastry :p)

5. Visit somewhere new - While I was in the States with S in March, we went to both Massachusetts and Virginia, but I didn't really get the chance to explore very much.  So I've kind of completed this but I'd like to complete it -more-, if that makes sense! 

6. Get a tattoo and/or piercing - Still at the bakery, still no body mods.  Soon!

7. Help out with chores regularly - This one is a little bit iffy.  Since I've been organising my things lately, if anything I've increased the amount of housework >.< I have, however, been helping out with caring for the kitcats a lot more and baking lots of treats ^_^

8. Complete 5 video games - So far, I've completed Bioshock: Infinite.  If you enjoy video games and have played previous Bioshock games, play it.  Just...Play it.  It's better than you could ever imagine it to be.

9. Make donations to 12 different charities - I am -so- on track with this one!  I'm really enjoying not only donating but delving a little deeper into the charities I support, finding out how they work and who or what they help.

10. Have a 'Die Hard' movie marathon - The planning of this is in the works, for reasons I'll tell you soon!

Wow, actually looking at this list, I feel like I've already accomplished a lot this year!  It's such a boost to take a step back and see what I've already done - I feel encouraged to keep going and complete them all!  Do you have goals you want to accomplish this year?  Have you reached them yet or are you still pushing forward?  I'd love to know!  Thanks for stopping by!

xoxo

It's Beginning To Feel Like Spring.

I am eternally grateful for the change in season; I look forward to it every year, desperately waiting for the morning I pull myself out of bed at 5 and see the sunlight, knowing I can walk to work without it being bitterly cold and dark.  It cheers me up no end, especially since I'm not terribly fond of my job ^_^

We've been having to take extra good care of Whiteface, since he unfortunately developed an infection where his leg was removed.  He is now sad cat, wearing a cone and taking lots of antibiotics.  He's eating and drinking and pottering about though, recovering slowly.  Poor mite!

I'm excited about spring.  It brings out a creative spark in me, like a whole new beginning for a new year (even though I know that started four months ago!) and this year I have been indulging in pretty colours and baking.  I really, really have caught the baking bug (which is helping out with my 12 new recipes challenge) and am, most days, up to my elbows in flour.

While it's still a little chilly outside, I'm enjoying spending my free time curled up with a book (attempting to cross something else off of my list!) and a big cup of coffee or, in this case, hot chocolate.  I bought some Peeps for a friend while I was over for my visit, and thought they looked pretty floating in my drink!  Which, I might add, was housed in the biggest cup I've ever had.

This cup is -brilliant-.  Not only is it so big it nearly doesn't balance on the coaster, it's also covered with Shakespearian insults!  I think my favourite is 'a fusty nut with no kernal' but they're all brilliant!  A lovely gift from a lovely friend ^_^

I made a lovely lemon sponge cake with a lemon glaze on top.  There is something so deliciously fresh about lemon flavoured things.  I adore citrus scents and tastes at the moment - only the other day I bought a little bottle of clementine perfume!  I like smelling of oranges all day ^_^

I have to give the credit for this scrumptious honeycomb to my Mum!  It's a combination of golden syrup, sugar and bicarbonate of soda.  It's like magic when you add the bicarb, watching it grow and pale and all the little bubbles foaming and popping!  A very nice, chewy sweet treat!

I haven't made bread for -years-.  All the recipes I looked at called for proper bread flour, unsalted butter, all these fancy techniques and ingredients I didn't have readily available!  I found one which was incredibly simple and used it to make this little beauty.  There's something very satisfying about making bread, that it takes a little while and a little patience to prepare.  I also made croissants, which I'll be telling you about another day.  Now they really were a labour of love!

I hope you're all having a good weekend and you have a lovely week planned ahead of you.  This last week has been full of shocking, awful news from America, from the terrible bombs in Boston to the tragic explosion in Texas.  My thoughts truly are with those who were affected by these tragedies.  I hope this next week is a positive one, looking forward to a bright, happy future.  Thank you for stopping by.

xoxo

Currently.

I took a little inspiration from Danielle over at Sometimes Sweet for this post!

{Whiteface}

Feeling: Relieved.  One of our cats, Whiteface, was involved in an accident over the weekend and was badly injured; he ended up having his leg amputated :( Fortunately the rest of him was okay, bar some scratches, so he was allowed to come home on Monday.  Poor little mite! He's feeling a bit down and is sleeping a lot, but we're all so glad to have him home and to know that he will be okay.  After losing another of our cats in an accident, we worry every time the kits go out because you can never be sure they will make it back in one piece.  It hits home just how much they are a part of your family when something like this happens; we love our little fur babies!

Watching: I've had a real urge to watch all of the Studio Ghibli movies I can get my hands on!  I caught some of 'Princess Mononoke' the other day and since then, I keep vowing to make time to sit and watch them.  Do you have a favourite Studio Ghibli film?  I'm torn between 'Howl's Moving Castle' and 'My Neighbour Totoro'!  And now that 'The Walking Dead' has finished, I'm really keen to start watching a different series - any suggestions?

Listening To: Kate Bush - 'The Whole Story'.  I -adore- Kate Bush (who just happens to be my namesake - thanks Mum!) and this album is *so good*!  I love all of the songs on it, and remember listening to them on repeat when I was 14-15 years old (almost ten years ago, cripes!).  I'm especially loving Experiment IV at the moment - have a listen to it here and tell me what you think!

Looking Forward To: The weekend!  I'm lucky to have the whole weekend off (since I worked the whole last one!) so I intend to spend it giving the cats so many snuggles, playing lots of video games, finishing off the scarf I started before Christmas (!) and baking!  I've got savoury scones and some kind of cake planned; completely been inspired by Anna Olson and want to make everything she has ever baked!  I'm thinking an attempt at macarons; have you ever tried baking something that like?  I'd love to know how it turned out!

I hope you guys are having a great week ^_^ Do you have something awesome planned for the weekend?  Fingers crossed the weather lady told me right today and we're going to have some sunshine and warmth!  Has Spring finally arrived?  Woo!  Thanks for stopping by!

xoxo

Lately.

As the time to fly away to S draws ever closer, I've been so busy getting things ready and packing for my trip (and trying to fit in all my hours at work too!) and as I've been washing, ironing, booking and waiting, I've been taking some pictures of things that have made me smile ^_^

We were brought lovely, fresh eggs by my aunt - look at the size compared to a supermarket egg!  Huge!  Lots of them had two yolks in too :3 scrumptious!

Celebrating Mother's Day on Sunday, with a little homemade banner...

 

...simply wrapped and decorated gifts...

...and roses the colour of sunshine!

Cute little kitties sleeping, all curled up and comfy (I wish I was a cat so I could crash down for a nap anywhere!)

Last minute double-checks and crossing off on my many lists >.<

I'm -so- excited!  Just one more shift at work and then I'm off to see my boy for a whole week!  We'll be seeing my favourite band, travelling to Virginia to see our friends get married and spending a lot of quality time together, making plans for our future ^_^ Do you have exciting plans for your week?  Thank you for stopping by!

xoxo

Four Things.

I saw this post on 'A Beautiful Mess' way back in September and thought "Hey, that looks fun!  I should do that!" and never did.  Then a whole month rolls by, I realise I'm one month closer to the end of 2012 (where did this year go, exactly?  Blinked and missed it.) and I decide I'm going to do it.  Four things, four simple goals to achieve before the year is out.  Here they are.

:: Finish a project (and start it, too!) ::

My crochet blanket...-hangs head in shame- I regret making all those tiny granny squares and am now wishing I'd decided to just make one *huge* blanket.  So it's been put on the back-burner a little until I can pluck up the courage to continue it.  In the meantime, I'd really like to knit a linen-stitch scarf (it's such a pretty stitch, take a look here!)

:: Create a design I'm proud of ::

If I want to be successful in running and owning my own creative business, I have to get busy.  Lately, it's been so easy to put off all the awesome things I'd like to do but that involve a lot of effort and I kinda need to push myself a little bit to get these things done.  It's funny, since it's not like doing the laundry or cleaning the bathroom; these things are things I'm really keen to work on, but I still make excuses not to do them.  I think I build it up a little much, think of -all- the things I'd need to do rather than breaking it down into smaller, more manageable things and I get overwhelmed.  This is a good start.

:: Spend time with my friends ::

I don't see my friends all that often.  I don't really have many friends and I sincerely value the ones I do because of it.  But again, despite it being something I want to do (who doesn't love spending time with awesome people?!) I've been neglecting the people I care about and I'm concerned that those relationships will suffer.  It's important I make time to see them, to reach out with an e-mail or a phone call, to meet for a coffee or a spot of lunch.

:: Don't stress over work! ::

This one, I think, will be tough.  My manager is still off sick but is coming for a meeting next Wednesday to discuss a 'phased return to work'.  We're all skeptical but hopeful, too.  The staff who left have yet to be replaced and it's doubtful they will be.  We're running very tight at the moment and I'm doing more than I should be.  It stresses me out more than it should at the moment because we're short staffed, because I'm working 12-hour days, because I've got a lot of unwanted responsibility.  But from now on, work is staying -at work-.  Because it's just a job.  It's not my life.

I hope you're all having a great week and have something wonderful planned for the weekend!  I'm working the whole thing (Woo!  Haha!) but I'm going to work through it all with a smile on my face and the prospect of a week off in early November!  Thanks for stopping by!

xoxo

♥Ắçĕ♥

P.S. Did you see my Seven Year Pen??  It's -so- awesome!  It writes beautifully and it's terribly pretty!  And environmentally responsible ~feels noble~ Go take a peek, there are lots of lovely designs and they only cost the equivalent of a dollar a year.  Bargain (^_^)

Today.

Today I wrote a to-do list for this week.  This to-do list included things like 'Buy some supplements for joints' and 'learn some good, core strengthening exercises'.  Alas, dear friends, I've suffered a mishap: as we English say, "I've done my back in!"

I blame my job (naturally) and the fact we were never told how to lift things properly (No, a poster with stickmen on it is NOT good enough, area manager!) and the fact that I'm on my feet all the time and things are heavy.  So I sit here now, dosed up on painkillers, a microwaved heat pad soothing the aches away, Google-ing sciatica because my back pain has transformed from just that to back-and-now-all-down-one-leg pain.

Sigh.

My blog has become, I think, my unofficial moan place, hasn't it.  That's really no good, is it.  Who wants to read about someone moaning all the time!  I've become -shock horror- one of those 'miserable bloggers'.  Ick.

I am, in my every day life, a very smiley happy person.  If you were to ask my friends how they'd describe me, they'd say optimistic, cheerful, smiling.  And I think it's a real shame I don't represent myself the same way online as I do in real life.  Sure, it's good to have a place to have a little vent and a moan every now and then.  But not -all- the freakin' time.  What a yawn-fest.

As I said in an earlier post, I've been doing some serious blog/business/future rethinking.  I want to start fresh and to really focus.  Properly focus.  Stop letting my 'real' job get in the way of planning my ideal future job.  Post pictures of smiles and happy memories and pretty things.  Moan occasionally.  Y'know, 'cause sometimes it's okay.  But be the happy person here that I genuinely am elsewhere.

Coheed and Cambria released their new album today.  I got it early as a digital download (I ordered the extra-spangly super special deluxe box set thingy but due to some quality issues it wasn't shipped yet -sad face-) and I've been listening to it on a loop.  Cue ridiculous fangirling.

Have a brilliant day.  Have a brilliant week.  And Claudio Sanchez, if you're reading this, you have the best voice -EVER-.

xoxo

♥Ắçĕ♥

It's Been A Looooooong Time.

Oh guys.  It feels like I blink and all of a sudden a whole month has gone by without me posting!  I've been horribly busy, in lots of very bad ways.  Namely, trying to figure out all the messes that are happening at work lately {bad times indeed} and looking for alternative employment so I escape horror job.  It's a real shame - it was so awesome working there at first ~sad~

Anyway!  I have been working on a few things during the month that I was absent.  I've been learning how to knit and made my very first scarf (!) which doesn't have any really obvious flaws (!!) and I'm giving it as a gift to one of my colleagues who has a birthday this week.  I also crocheted my lovely brother, D, a hat to wear to college (he's studying engineering and has to keep his long hair tucked out of the way while in the workroom!) I've been doodling a lot, having bought a delightful little doodle-book with a gift card I got from my other brother, W, for my birthday.  Oh yes, I had my birthday, too!  I'm now a whole 24 years old (meep!) and am planning on making a '24 before 25' list...Even though I'm nearly a month into being 24 already...Better late than never, right?

Things are still a little slow on the S and I being together front but we're working on it.  We talk less now during the week because more often than not I'm working 12-hour days and I'm not really in the mood for staring at a computer screen afterwards, even if I -am- looking at his pretty face.  I've been doing my best to eat better and get some exercise in, aiming for 30 minutes at least four times a week.  I hurt my back over the weekend so I took it really easy with my cycling today and my brother, W, who just happens to be really into physical fitness right now, showed me some cool exercises that will help me strengthen my core, which in turn will help in supporting my spine and hopefully ease the trouble I've been having with my back!

I'm really excited for the next few months; Christmas is coming (I know, I know, but I like to start planning early!), as is Halloween and Bonfire Night; I've been working on some little designs and drawings that I'm looking forward to sharing once they're all finished; I've got a whole bunch of recipes that I'm -so- psyched to try out {I just need some extra hours in the day, please!}

I've been keeping up with all of the blogs that I read and just want to say that you're all so fantastic, it's a joy to follow along with the things that are happening in your worlds!  And thank you to those of you who've stopped by to see what's going on in mine.  I'm going to make a bigger effort to be more present here, because documenting the interesting, awesome things in my life was what I intended this little blog for.

Have a brilliant week!

xoxo

♥Ắçĕ♥

Feeling Stuck.

First off, I had an absolutely amazing time with S in New Jersey; we ate too much, walked around in the lovely sunshine and spent some serious quality time together.  I was bummed to come back and leave him all the way over there.  But we're working on it.

I'm writing this post because I was kind of at a loss for what to do.  Since the beginning of the year (as I'm sure you guys know, since I've moaned about it a lot) things have been really tough; work has sucked, me and S had a few problems, I haven't had time to work on my own personal goals.  It's gotten to the point where I feel like I'm just going round and round, doing the same thing every day and, while I hate it, I find I'm not doing anything to change it.

I felt like I'd lost my drive a little; I was hoping to have some kind of plan, some kind of attainable point to reach before the year was out.  With me and S getting rejected at every turn, plus working all the hours under the sun, everything else that we'd planned for or even hoped for just went out of the window.  I was just getting through each day, one by one, not really thinking about my future and it's still like that now.

Coming back from being with S has really made me realise just how important it is for us to be together.  Things have gone even further downhill at work {I know, I thought it was impossible too!} so I'm looking really hard for a new job, something that gives me a little time off, that doesn't ask the world of me with nothing in return.  S and I are looking forward to August, when we're hopefully going to make some definite plans regarding who is moving where in order for us to be together.  And I'm starting fresh, with new business ideas and, eventually, a new blog.

For the last year, I've been feeling stuck.  I lost the enthusiasm I had for blogging, for creating, for working towards the future I want with all my heart.  It's time for a change, to stop waiting for things to move forward but to push them in the right direction instead.  It's time to get *excited* about things again, to explore every possible avenue and get back the part of myself that I lost under the deluge of work and bad luck I've had.

Thanks for stopping by, guys.  I really appreciate you dropping in to see what's going on around here, offering support and advice when I need it.  I hope you'll continue to join me on my adventures (^_^)

xoxo

♥Ắçĕ♥

Life Lately...

The Good

♥ I've been working out recently!  I know, check me out ~laughs~ My Mum has a stationary bike and I figured it'd be fun to have a go.  So I've been cycling around 7k a day and I'm really enjoying it (^_^)

♥ The new assistant manager at work is a) really nice and b) really good at her job.  This is making things a whole lot easier {even if my actual manager is being really suck lately} and it's really nice to have someone the same age as me around!

♥ It was my Dad's birthday on Sunday and my brother bought him the Gotye album, 'Making Mirrors'.  I can't stop listening to it.  Seriously.  On repeat.  Love love love x a gazillion.

The Bad

☹ I didn't get that job I went and interviewed for.  I was called the next day and she thanked me so much for coming in, said that she would've liked to hire me but they had to base it on points and someone scored more points than I did.  Kinda bummed but hey, onto the next one!

☹ The weather we are having at the moment is making me seriously frowny.  Come on, it's almost the middle of June and we have flood warnings??  It's rainy, it's cold and I'm having to wear sweaters.  Not cool.

☹ One of my friends is having some problems and is completely shutting everyone out.  I can totally understand that feeling but at the same time, we all want to help and we're all worried.  All I can do is be here for when they decide to open up and hope everything is okay...~sigh~

The Downright Awesome

♦ I am officially 141.8 lbs.  Which means I have this much <---> to go before I reach my goal weight of 140!  I really wasn't focussing on the weight thing, just feeling more comfortable in my own clothes and being healthier, but I'm pretty thrilled that I'm *so* close to it.  Since the beginning of this year, I've lost 20 lbs.  Cripes.

♦ S and I are officially on good grounds again - things got weird for a while.  Really weird.  Like, on the verge of calling it quits weird.  We were talking, but we weren't talking, you know?  We took a little time out, really thought about what we both wanted from each other and from our very long distance relationship.  I'm paying him a visit for his birthday next month and I'm so excited to see him and for us to really talk, to reconnect and to make solid plans for our future.

It's always good to end on a high note, right?  I hope you're all having a great week so far!  I'm hoping to start back with my 'Monday Must Haves' next week, to show you some more of my art journal and *fingers crossed* I'll have some newly thrifted wearables to don (^_^) Thanks for stopping by!

xoxo

♥Ắçĕ♥

So I Went For An Interview...

And I think it went quite well!  As you guys know {because I've bored you all to death with moaning about it, sorry!} things haven't been too great at work lately.  Well, for the last six months.  Anyway!  A job opened up a local children's community centre for an afternoon-plus-one-full-day receptionist and I jumped at the chance!  Wouldn't it be fabulous to have all those mornings free for creating and crafting and lots of lovely things, to work in the afternoon and have the evenings free too?  Plus having the weekends off??  Sounds too good to be true right now!

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I impressed them enough to offer me the job - hopefully I should find out whether or not I've been successful quite soon!

In other terribly exciting news, I dyed my hair {I will post a picture soon!}, half-planned a holiday {I haven't taken any time off since last November...sigh} and I can't stop listening to this song:

It's really, really good.  And catchy.  And it floats around in my head all day but I don't mind (^_^) It poured with rain all day but now the sun is out, I've got this awesome song playing and I'm feeling cheerily optimistic about lots of things (^_^) I hope you're all having a wonderful day, taking it easy and surrounding yourself with the things you love ♥

xoxo

♥Ắçĕ♥

Long Time No See...

Guys.  Wow.  I've missed you.

It's been the craziest time *ever*.  I wish with all my heart that I'd worked harder and found time to update my blog but it just got lost in the midst of super long working hours, catching up with friends and attempting to get enough sleep in between!

Everything has suffered; today was the first time in *two months* that I picked up my crochet hook and worked on my blanket; my best friend B and I have only talked *twice* since I last posted (and we're once-a-week-if-not-more talkers!); I've not done any work on moving forward with my business; S and I are having to work out even more kinks in our plans...The list seems endless!

I know plenty of people have full time jobs and are able to balance everything so wonderfully (at least, it seems like it!) but I've really struggled.  We were thrown in at the deep end when our old manager left and it's been up to me and my new manager to keep everything together; not a responsibility I asked for but a necessary one I've taken on and while it's hard, it's made me value the time I spend away from there and with my friends and family *so* much more.

I know it's down to me to work things out, to make time for all the different parts of my life I want to work on.  For the last couple of months I've been stuck in such a rut, just working and pushing from one week to the next with as little hassle as possible.  In the last few days I've been doing a lot of thinking, about my creative passions, about the friends that've been there throughout the craziness, about the things that make me genuinely happy and how I've been neglecting them (mostly because I'm simply shattered at the end of the day but really, is that an excuse not to sit for a half hour and read or crochet?  Not any more!) 

I just wanted to say a big hello to everyone who reads this little blog of mine, to say thank you for stopping by (and thank you to those of you who kept stopping by, even after I vanished!) and to wish you a wonderful week full of smiles and all the things you love (^_^)

xoxo

♥Ắçĕ♥

Last Thing I...

I've seen this sweet little post floating around the blogosphere and thought I'd mosey through it myself (^_^)

Ate:

Coconut ice!  Oh, it's coconut deliciousness, I'm going to have to make some more and post the recipe, it's *so* good!

Drank:

Coffee (which I have a habit of pronouncing 'cwar-fee')

Read:

Ooh, I'm reading part two of the Shannara trilogy, so that!  It's gotten to a really tense bit but I'm trying to eke it out and not finish it too quickly!

Watched:

The news.  I like to keep up with what's going on in the world, even though a lot of the news just makes me go (-_-)

Listened To:

That would be one of Coheed's songs...I think it was In Keeping Secrets Of Silent Earth:3.

Said:

I'm going to do it in a minute! (to my parents, who want tea and coffee!)

Bought:

Ahh, the cutest little mini-planner!  It's called a Dodo Pad; it's full of funny little pictures and quotes and has five columns for every day so I can organize my work schedule, meals, exercise and blog...well, that's the plan, anyway!

I hope you guys are having a good week so far.  Mine has been okay, aside from all the weirdness yesterday.  I'm looking forward to the rest of the week though; I've got some crafting planned (art journalling/beginning my blanket) and I'll be heading back to work on Thursday after my 'mini-holiday', so it's all systems go from now!  Thanks for stopping by!

xoxo

♥Ắçĕ♥

Grieving Is Weird.

I know that grief is something that affects each of us in different ways.  It's something so completely unique to ourselves, the same as our fingerprints or the sound of someone's laughter.  There are universally recognized standards of grief and the process of it, such as denial, feeling shaken and upset, being rounded off with acceptance and moving on.

I haven't cried since I found out my Nan died.  I'm not an emotional person, really; I very rarely cry, especially in front of other people.  I realise that other members of my family, particularly her two other children apart from my Dad (who, like myself, grieves quietly and privately), may grieve differently.  When we all met at her house today, I was right.  They were both visibly upset and did cry a couple of times.  The mood in the house was sombre but with a touch of happiness too; we talked about my Nan, we laughed at the silly things she did and said, smiled at the good times we spent together.  Then they started doing things that really bugged me.

My aunt and uncle (who arrived before my Dad did, since he was at work) took it upon themselves to start sorting through my Nan's belongings and throwing stuff out.  I vocalised that I thought it was too soon, that we didn't need to be doing this before her funeral and my Mum agreed, but they kept on taking things out of drawers and boxes, offering things to see if anyone wanted to take it before it was thrown away.  In my mind I'm screaming "She hasn't been gone a week and you're already pillaging her things! What's wrong with you?!" and I simply had to remove myself from the situation because it was making me upset.

It was only while I was outside, taking a breath of fresh air and calming down that I realised; this was how they were grieving. 

It was painful for my aunt and uncle to be in her house without her there.

It was hard for them to sit in her living room, in her chair, to be quiet and still while they were surrounded by her things.

They needed to be up, to be busy, to keep their minds occupied by thoughts of sorting out, tidying up, getting things ready, rather than sit and remember.

While I was happy to sit surrounded by her and the possessions she had worked so hard for and kept for so many years and simply think of her, it was too difficult for them to.  My anger melted away and I went back to the rooms they were in, asked them quietly to come break for a cup of tea and helped them tidy away the last of the things that were out.

Yeah, grief is weird.  We're all feeling the same hurt and upset but we're all reacting to it so completely differently.  What I've learned today, above all things, is that no matter how we're coping with it we have to cope with it together (which can be easier said than done, since my immediate family isn't very close with our extended family).  The most important thing is that we know we're all in this as one and that we're there to support each other, always.

Sorry that this post is kind of rambly, I just wanted to get that off of my chest.  Thanks for reading, guys.  I hope you're all having a swell week so far!

xoxo

♥Ắçĕ♥

Not The Best Week Ever.

Just about sums up my week.

My grandmother, my Nan, went into hospital on Tuesday after suffering a fall at home.  For reasons that are still unknown, she deteriorated rapidly on Wednesday and, late that night, she passed away in her sleep.  She went peacefully, without any of the pain that she had endured for several years, and for that I am so thankful.

My Nan was a wonderfully creative person; her spare room was always full of swathes of material, her sewing machine and overlocker, spools of thread in every colour you could imagine.  There wasn't a hem she couldn't fix, a jumper she couldn't knit.  Over the last ten years or so, she became more and more involved with other creative pursuits; she adored card-making, collecting thousands of beautiful beads, card toppers, ribbons, sparkly doo-dahs, everything you could possibly want while paper crafting!  We would spend hours making things together, exploring parchment craft, embossing, stitching with card. 

Some of my fondest memories are of us sitting together in her craft room  

- cups of hot tea steaming - 

- a plate of biscuits tempting us to reach out every so often -

 - table top scattered with cardstock.pens.glitter - 

- talking.laughing.admiring our work

-  just being together -

You inspired me more than you know.  You gave me the tools to create.  You watched me grow and encouraged me all the way.  If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be headed in the direction I am now.  Thank you, for everything.

~

I hope you guys are having a good week.  I'm going to attempt my first vegan day tomorrow and hopefully tackle a new recipe as part of it.  Have a great weekend!

xoxo

♥Ắçĕ♥

Week Two

This last week has been *crazy* busy!  I thought that when I got back I'd be eased gently back into the swing of work-life but noooooo; it's been so full on I've barely had time to sleep, let alone blog!  I hope you guys are all doing good and are having a great week so far!  I just thought I'd show you a little bit of what I got up to the second week of my holiday in New Jersey (^_^)

(Warning : Gratuitous food shots ahead)

This masterpiece of baking is 'ube cake', made with purple yams.  I just call it purple cake since it's the most intense, deep purple colour!  It's completely delicious and so moist and moreish, I wish we could get purple yams in England so I could bake one of these bad boys!

On the Tuesday, S, his brother, his Mum and I all headed off to Sands casino in Bethlehem(!), Pennsylvania.  We had a really great time, playing all the bright, shiny slot machines and tucking into some great food.  We gambled with the free plays you get from signing up for a slot card and we actually won a bit of money!

I had always hoped that casinos still cashed out with lots of coins that jingled when you struck lucky but you get a little printout now *chuckles* That little win paid for our lunch, which was my very first taste of cheesesteak, and it was pretty darn good!

We celebrated our own little Christmas on the Wednesday, since we knew we wouldn't be able to spend actual Christmas day with each other this year (though fingers crossed for next - we've been making some exciting plans that I can't wait to tell you about, soon!) and while I was snoozing away in bed, S went out and prepared the cutest Christmas breakfast ever -

- yes, that is hot chocolate with marshmallows, Pop Tarts and tiny little doughnut balls *squee!* - and he bought me the most incredible gift, something I've been really desperately wanting for a looooong time - 

- Ahhhhh!  It's only *the* coolest graphics tablet EVER!  I was so completely thrilled with it, the tablet is freakin' huge and I got some pretty awesome software with it too!  I haven't had much time to play with it lately but I'm hoping to get some creating done with it this week!  Thank you again, S (^_^) You're the best ♥ The rest of the day we snuggled up watching Christmas movies and playing with the two cutest doggies ever.

Let me introduce you to Fox (left) the American Eskimo and Ivy (right) the Pug!  Ivy doesn't always live with S and his family *they were pup-sitting her* but we had a ball with them both over my holiday, they're such an adorable pair!

The rest of my hols were spent out in New York buying 'I ♥ NY' T-shirts for my family (purely so I can snap a shot of us all wearing them together!) and taking it easy with S.  I had a totally awesome time and can't wait to go back; we're planning a short break in February next year, depending on how our plans go!

I hope I haven't bored you with all the food pictures!  Thanks for reading, and I hope you have a really great week!

xoxo

♥Ắçĕ♥