Thursday, July 26, 2012

Feeling Stuck.

First off, I had an absolutely amazing time with S in New Jersey; we ate too much, walked around in the lovely sunshine and spent some serious quality time together.  I was bummed to come back and leave him all the way over there.  But we're working on it.

I'm writing this post because I was kind of at a loss for what to do.  Since the beginning of the year (as I'm sure you guys know, since I've moaned about it a lot) things have been really tough; work has sucked, me and S had a few problems, I haven't had time to work on my own personal goals.  It's gotten to the point where I feel like I'm just going round and round, doing the same thing every day and, while I hate it, I find I'm not doing anything to change it.

I felt like I'd lost my drive a little; I was hoping to have some kind of plan, some kind of attainable point to reach before the year was out.  With me and S getting rejected at every turn, plus working all the hours under the sun, everything else that we'd planned for or even hoped for just went out of the window.  I was just getting through each day, one by one, not really thinking about my future and it's still like that now.

Coming back from being with S has really made me realise just how important it is for us to be together.  Things have gone even further downhill at work {I know, I thought it was impossible too!} so I'm looking really hard for a new job, something that gives me a little time off, that doesn't ask the world of me with nothing in return.  S and I are looking forward to August, when we're hopefully going to make some definite plans regarding who is moving where in order for us to be together.  And I'm starting fresh, with new business ideas and, eventually, a new blog.

For the last year, I've been feeling stuck.  I lost the enthusiasm I had for blogging, for creating, for working towards the future I want with all my heart.  It's time for a change, to stop waiting for things to move forward but to push them in the right direction instead.  It's time to get *excited* about things again, to explore every possible avenue and get back the part of myself that I lost under the deluge of work and bad luck I've had.

Thanks for stopping by, guys.  I really appreciate you dropping in to see what's going on around here, offering support and advice when I need it.  I hope you'll continue to join me on my adventures (^_^)


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